Conflicts Management: Different Styles of Conflict Resolution

Conflict. People can feel tense, angry, or even scared when they hear this word. Still, disagreements are a normal part of life, whether you’re at work or at home. The important thing is not to avoid all strife, but to handle it well. This means learning about the different ways to solve conflicts and picking the one that works best for the case.

Here, we look at five common ways to settle disagreements, which will help you handle the expected arguments with grace and purpose:

1. Competing (aggressive, unwilling to work with others):

The competitive style puts winning ahead of finding common ground. People who use this technique are adamant about pushing their own agenda and may use aggressive methods like threats or arguments. This style can help get things done quickly when time is short or a clear choice needs to be made, but it can hurt relationships and make people angry.

Good points:

Able to quickly come to a decision.

This is helpful in emergencies that need quick action.

Bad points:

Can hurt relationships and make the surroundings hostile.

Might end in a “winner-loser” situation that makes the other person less motivated.

2. Avoiding (being indifferent or unwilling to help):

Some people naturally avoid confrontation and may choose to avoid it. This means leaving the situation, putting off talking about it, or switching the subject completely. Taking this method might help for a short time, but it doesn’t get to the root of the problem and can make things worse.

Good points:

Can calm down a tense situation in the short run.

It can help you buy time to get more knowledge or calm down.

Bad points:

Doesn’t end the argument; problems may come up again later.

Can make people be suspicious and passive-aggressive.

3. Accommodating (not pushy, helping out):

The accommodating style puts keeping the peace ahead of making your wants known. People who use this method are willing to give in to what the other person wants, even if it means giving up their own goals. This can make the person who is accommodating angry and lead to a lack of power in the relationship.

Good points:

Encourages peace and keeps conflicts from getting worse.

Helpful for keeping relationships strong when the problem isn’t very important.

Bad points:

Can make you angry and feel like you’re being ripped off.

Might not deal with the real problem, letting it get worse.

4. Giving in (assertive, somewhat cooperative):

Compromise tries to find a “middle ground” where everyone gives up something to reach an agreement that works for everyone. In many cases, this is a good answer, but it doesn’t always get to the heart of the problem for either side.

Good points:

Offers a method that can be used when full agreement is not possible.

Makes people feel fair and gets them to work together.

Bad points:

Could lead to quick fixes that don’t really solve the problem.

It can take a lot of time and requires good communication skills.

5. Working together (Assertive, Cooperative):

People who use the collaborating style try to find a “win-win” answer by working together to make everyone happy. Open communication, empathy, and a willingness to look at all of your choices are all part of this approach. Collaboration is the best way to find long-term answers, but it takes more work and time.

Good points:

Getting to the root of the problem leads to a more permanent answer.

Builds connections based on trust and respect.

Makes everyone feel like they own it and gets everyone on board.

Bad points:

There is a lot of time needed for communication and research.

Granted, it’s not always possible, especially when time is short.

How to Pick the Right Style: A Contextual Look

There isn’t just one “best” way to handle a disagreement. The best way to do something rests on a number of things, including:

  • How bad the argument is: small disagreements can often be solved by finding a middle ground, but bigger problems may need people to work together.
  • The people involved: If you’ve worked together for a long time, you might want to work together to keep the trust between you, but if you’re just talking to each other once, you might want to take a faster approach like competing or accepting.
  • Time constraints: In an emergency, you may need to compete or compromise to find a faster answer, even if it’s not the best one.
  • Personality styles: Some people naturally work better with others, while others may like to be more aggressive, like when they compete.

More than just styles: important skills for resolving conflicts well.

Active listening means really hearing what the other person has to say without speaking up or making a case.

Empathy: Try to see things from the other person’s point of view and understand their feelings and wants.

Clear Communication: Be clear and to the point about what you want and need.

Focus on Interests: Instead of talking about views (what someone wants), talk about interests (what they really want). This can help people come up with better ideas that work for everyone.

Problem-Solving Skills: Figure out why there is conflict and come up with possible answers as a group.

Willingness to Compromise: Be ready to find common ground and change your original position in order to reach a solution that works for everyone.

Extra Advice on How to Effectively Resolve Conflicts:

  • Get things going: Pick a quiet, private place to have the conversation.
  • Pay attention to the problem, not the person: Don’t attack people personally; instead, talk about the problem at hand.
  • Instead of blaming the other person, use “I” statements to talk about how the situation makes you feel. Rather than “You always…” say “I feel frustrated when…”
  • Keep your emotions in check: don’t yell, call people names, or act aggressively in any other way.
  • Get Outside Help: If the disagreement is complicated or you can’t figure out how to solve it, you might want to talk to a mediator or counselor.

In the end, conflict can be a chance to grow.

The right way to handle conflict can make it a chance for growth and development. By learning about the different ways to solve conflicts, improving our communication skills, and tackling disagreements with an open mind for working together, we can handle them in a healthy way and make our relationships stronger and more stable.

Don’t forget that disagreement is not the enemy. What counts is how we deal with it.
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Transparency Disclosure: This article was written with AI assistance in the research and outlining but with comprehensive editing, refining and fact-checking by the author to ensure accuracy and high-quality content.

The Author

ISMAEL D. TABIJE, CE, MBA, is a seasoned international consultant whose clientele includes the United Nations, World Bank, European Commission, Asian Development Bank and Japan International Cooperation Agency. He's also a published book author and newspaper columnist. Prior to his international consulting career, he worked as a corporate executive for about two decades. He also lectured on MBA subjects in a prestigious university.


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